I tried, I really did. But the issues you had were too much for me to handle.
I know I am loyal, faithful, and that I tend to forgive too easily. But after forgiving you for the same things over and over, I became too exhausted to forgive again. After all of your empty promises of never putting me through the same shit again turned out to be just talk…I made the decision that I deserved better. So, I left.
You can play victim all you want. You can do the pity party thing, but the people that actually matter to me know the truth. You say I gave up? You paint me as the liar, the cheat, the “whore”? Well t(-_-)t to your inability to take responsibility for the failure of our relationship.
A relationship is nothing without trust. And although people have betrayed you in the past, it does not give you the right to take out the distrust on me. And I, on the other hand, was in the wrong too. I should have never, EVER tried so hard to earn your trust when I never did anything to break it.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why do I keep loving those who hurt me most? Who betrayed me on the deepest level, and who- to this day, still claim to love me. Others may believe your lies. Others may fall victim to your manipulation, but I refuse to do so anymore. I know your games. I know your lies. And most importantly, I know YOU. I know you better than your friends, your family, and even better than you know yourself.
But even after this short, short time away, I’m beginning to pick up the pieces of my heart… as cliche as that sounds. I am beginning to find myself again. I am starting to realize “who I am”. I am someone who does not listen to the lies and deceit of others, even if it is coming from my family. That is where you messed up. You knew how they were, because you warned me yourself. But I ignored you, because I am stubborn. I want to see the good in everyone. Which is what also bites me in the ass. And after all we’ve been through if you still have doubts about my character, than I guess you were never worth my time. I’m ready to live my life again.
I am starting a new chapter in my life. I am surrounding myself with good friends, my family, and bathing in the positive vibes. Peace!